Is Two Really Better than One…

Now I know it has been at least 10 years since I’ve written my last blog… so you’re going to get a special treat. My two dates in one day story..

Date #1

One of my biggest pet peeves in online dating is the guy who wants to text and text and never meet. I had 2 pen pals growing up… one was from Japan and one was another Mormon from Utah. I enjoyed both of those experiences and learned a lot. However, this is not my desire in dating. If after a week of chatting there is no mention of a date then I’m out of there.

So, I say this because I had just begun chatting with this guy on Tinder. He was a nice guy and I could tell instantly that he was a little nerdy. Now, this is something I actually enjoy because I’m a pretty big dork. Not in a comic book way (although in my previous life I have dabbled quite a bit in PC games) but in a I don’t care what people think way…  I’ll dance in the aisles and sing in grocery stores.

So the guy on Tinder had been talking to me for a day.  So when he gave me a text asking to hang out that afternoon at a busy local park I said Yes. I knew I had a date later that night and I figured it was a quick way to determine chemistry. There would be no money involved so I don’t have to feel bad going out to dinner with him and then determining no chemistry.

On my way to the park I stopped and got us Tropical Smoothie. I thought it would be a nice surprise and would be a perfect addition to our park date. We met at the park and I knew almost instantly he was not for me. He was very nice and had a nice smile but I just didn’t feel that woo hoo chemistry.

He was grateful for the Tropical Smoothie and seemed happy I got it. I was pretty impressed that I picked a flavor he liked considering that I had talked to him all of 2 days.


We talked for about an hour and walked around the park. He was into gaming (more than I was) and played more in life Role Playing Games with figurines and stuff. Nothing wrong with that but not a common interest that I can join. While we are talking there were a lot of people around us also enjoying the park on a gorgeous day. One of the couples there clearly were not there to just chat and I’m guessing were not in a committed relationship… with each other. I mean I could be wrong but I would put money on it at the same time.

LL- You know when a date is not going in a romantic direction when you’re chatting more about how grabby the other couple in the car is being then wanting to grabby on each other. 

Well as to be expected the date ends in one of those awkward Jill hugs and a good bye. Unfortunately, he enjoyed our time together in a chemistry way and wanted to go out again. I would love to say I said “Oh I’m sorry I am just not feeling the chemistry but I wish you the best of luck” instead I said “Uh yeah sure” then told him over text a little later. This moment is still tough for me.. truth.

Date #2

So date number 2 that night was actually a second date with a guy (ironic right). We’ll say his name was Romeo. The first date was awesome! We had dinner at O’Charleys and laughed and chatted the whole time. He had a great job and throughout the whole date I kept thinking “this is a guy that would fit in perfectly with my family!” He even had his work badge on and had some of the concepts that we learn at my work. This part of the date was amazing!

Well then at the end of the date he asked me if I wanted to go over to his house to play Mortal Kombat X. This was something that we had talked about both enjoying in our text messages. I had said No because I don’t go back to a guy’s house on the first date (lesson learned with waffle house guy) but I would do a rain check for the next date.

He definitely seemed a little turned off that I said No and the chemistry that I felt during the date quickly ended. I figured I had just hurt his feelings and let it lie. Well this guy did not text me immediately after the date like the ones I know we hit it off with do. Instead he texted me a few days later. The chemistry definitely was strained but I figured that a second date could help with that. Remember this was a guy who would fit in with my family so worth it!

We decided to go out in a week. We talked about going to his place for Mortal Kombat and pizza. I was legit pumped for this date! I had played this game at my kid’s birthday party and absolutely loved it!

Mortal Kombat.png
Watch it Here… Fave Clueless Gamer EVER

So that night I message him and ask for his address. He gives it to me and we decide on a time. I have trouble finding his apartment but he finally steps outside and helps. (Not a gentleman by any means) Romeo then greets me at the door wearing a pair of gym shorts and a polo. Clearly he just came home and switched his pants out. Not the best look but I wear hoodies so who am I to judge?

He then takes me on the balcony and his music is playing loudly. I can barely hear him over the music. He says really obnoxiously to me “I forgot we even had a date until you texted me” and I replied “Oh that’s okay, you’re my second date of today.” Yeah I’m not going to say my finest moment but I was about done at that point and I am pretty quick when need be.

We then walk back into his apartment and he begins to play the guitar and sing. The whole thing is just beyond awkward. Now I’m not going to say that I am a dynamite singer by any means, but I’m also not whipping out my chops on date. I am nice to him and let him know that I knew that he was learning and that he was doing a good job. (He kept saying he was learning).

Well then its time for the reason I came there… to bond with a great guy in gym shorts? No that ship had passed… it was to play Mortal Kombat. We played for a while and he kicked my trash. I mean royally kicked my butt. He was really good and I was not. I’m a good button masher but not good enough to beat him. The only round I won was where I was able to pin him to the side and kick him in the shins until he died. But there was one thing that I rocked at and that was trash talk. I mean I was trash talking before trash talking was even cool.

So, after the game we decide to play another trivia game. Now this game I really did rock at. I mean I mopped the floor with him. Now, that is surprising because at this time I was STARVING. All I had was the Tropical Smoothie that day. So when he asked if I wanted to go get milkshakes I was in for sure.

As we’re driving Romeo is legit singing along with every song that played. Now normally that’s a great thing! I mean who doesn’t like singing? But, if I tried to sing along he would change the song and if I wanted to ask him a question he would turn up the radio louder. I didn’t even know what to think about this date. So we pull into Wendy’s and he looks over and says “What flavor of frosty do you want?” I’m starving by this point but figure okay well he only wants to get frostys. I don’t expect anything from anyone and I knew I forgot my credit card at the apartment so  I couldn’t offer to buy myself anything else.I said chocolate and he ordered 2 small frostys.  He then continues to order and orders himself an ENTIRE MEAL. I am stunned and am thinking Golly Geez I would always say “do you want anything else?” to anyone in my car. I knew I would order off the dollar menu not order a biggie meal. LL- Bring your own credit card even to quick run to get milkshakes. 

We then we arrive back at his place. I eat the frosty and leave pretty quickly after that. It was the last time I talked with Romeo and while he always said that if things didn’t work out for us he wanted feedback as to why… he never messaged me again. Hopefully, he’ll get to read this blog…


You don’t do these things do you?.. Part 1

During my separation, my kid and I decided to go to WalMart. Now I’m not a big fan of that place but for some reason (I cannot remember why)  we decided we had to go there to get something. As we were walking in, there was a guy walking out with his girlfriend. They were holding hands, carrying a shopping bag and talking. As they were almost approaching the automatic doors to the front he stopped suddenly and did a double take. At first I was unsure what he was stopping for, but, when he put his hands in his pockets… I knew. He was stopping at the CLAW MACHINE. It was then that I realized my first dating No No…

We Can’t Date If… 

You Do a Double Take by the Claw Machine


Now I get the appeal… I’m going to win a high quality, made in the USA, stuffed animal that cannot possibly be purchased inside the store I just left. But, I think these machines are put into place to entice children not grown men who could be saving those quarters and spending their time elsewhere.

For the rest of the shopping trip, my child and I continued to talk about more of my We Can’t Date If… These things are important factors to consider when determining my soul mate.

You Cry more than I Do

I’m all about a guy having emotions. I think it’s sweet when a guy gets a little eye sweat when going through a major life event, wedding vows (dude better be crying when marrying me) or when he sees a VERY sad part of a movie. (hopefully involving a love story)… However, if you’re crying at the dog and Budweiser Clydesdale commercial you and I are not a good match or if you tear up “Everytime” you see this one movie, you’re not for me.

If you are a guy and prone to eye allergies feel free to take this tip from me.If you feel those eyes start to well think this.. “Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down… I’d like to take a moment just sit right there… I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.” Works everytime!

You are a Certain Football Fan 

Now I’m an avid Browns fan! Oh I hear the heckles from a mile away (Do you always cheer for losers? Sorry for your loss! They suck!) Don’t care I was born and raised and my kids (current and future) will be raised accordingly. I often think about this. I can date most religions (and have quite a few) and any race. But, if you are a fan of a certain team you’re not even in the running. Well I say that with one caveat, as long as they still have their current quarterback.

I need to feel comfortable in my own home. So, if I’m checking behind my back each time I go to the restroom the only zone you’re getting into is the Friend Zone.

Browns / Steelers Game w/ my kid… One of the best days of my life

You Smoke (anything)

One time when I was 13, my best friend at the time smoked. Even as a little Mormon girl I never thought it was bad, but when she tried to pressure me to do it I said No. It wasn’t even an option for me.

At the age of 28, I was hanging outside with a few guys and they were smoking a regular cigarette. The guys kept asking me to try it and I tried one puff and hated it.

Finally, I went to a Hookah bar with the “cool group” and tried it for about a half an hour. Thought I’d enjoy it. Vomited on the way home.

Believe it or not, this has been a point of hot contention between me and a few of my potential suitors. This is not a debate about legalization or anything else. I’m actually all about personal liberties. This is truly just a preference I have that I’m not willing to give on.

You Get Embarrassed Easily

Now I say this because I’ll admit it… I’m too much. I really don’t see an issue with singing Christmas Carols down the grocery aisle (normally during the Holiday season) or busting out dance moves when the local Steak-N-Shake has Janet Jackson’s Escapade on. As a matter of fact, if your shoulders don’t do a little shrugging I’m questioning your ability to feel the groove,






What Exactly am I Aiming for?

I am a strong believer that it does not matter the location of the date, but only the person you are with. This has never been more true than the date I am about to tell you about…

I met Nate* first through a brief conversation on OkCupid. We really began to talk on Tinder. When he first messaged me on Tinder I had NO IDEA who he was or that we had spoken before. After a while, he was able to remind me of our previous conversation to the point where I remembered who he was.

The very next day we had a date at a Mexican restaurant after work. He was a very nice guy who was very smart, good looking and close with his family. We had talked about his philosophies on dating and while we were different we enjoyed spending time together. We agreed to go on another date within the next couple of days.

The second date was just a quick date to Steak N Shake. We didn’t have a lot of time but it was a good one hour date and we chatted.

The third date we agreed to meet at Panera Bread. He was running late and then went to a different Panera Bread then I was at. In total, he was 30 minutes late. Not a great start but not a deal breaker either because it was just a simple mistake. I know I’m not perfect so I don’t expect anyone else to be. He sat down (I already ordered our food) and we talked some more.

It was this when I realized how different we really were.

Clothing Brands: He was talking about how often he changed out his wardrobe and how he buys only the best brands. He then began to name of Express, Men’s Warehouse (he had a suit job), and other really fancy guy clothes names. I then replied with “I buy my clothes at Meijer and Target”.

Clothing Choices: We were at Panera and it was a third date so I wore a VS hoodie and VS yoga pants. He talked to me about how he always thinks its important to look nice anywhere you go. I made some comment about my clothing and he said “No I think you look nice! I just meant in general” I then said “You do realize I’m wearing a dinosaur t-shirt under this hoodie right?”

Actual t-shirt 

Cleaning: I always like to ask about people’s cleaning habits. I am clean but not super clean and I don’t like to feel pressured to clean. This is actually a childhood thing that has surfaced as an adult. He said how he just did a basic cleaning each week. I asked him what that included he then said “Dusting, vacuuming, sheets, and cleaning corners.” Corners?! I am more of a cleaning when I have time. Weekly corner cleaning? Yeah not me!

So after a rowdy conversation of “Can two people really be this different?” I realized that we may have a better friend connection than love connection. After, our food he stated that he needed to go to Target to buy sheets. I laughed and said that’s where I was heading next to get a calculator. We decided to go together.

Me at Target.. well not really but funny eh?

We both arrived to Target and grabbed a cart together. We were laughing and talking as we headed to the home department and began to look at lamps. He said he needed a new lamp and I told him that I would be more than willing to help him get his apartment “ready for the ladies”. We chose a lamp together and found a really nice one. I don’t spend that much on home decor but I realized it was another difference we had. He really didn’t seem to have an opinion on the price of the lamp that I thought was a little pricey. We looked at hanging pictures and other home decorating items. We didn’t get any but I did tell him not buy a couple of items “There is no need to spend that kind of money on something!”

Then we got to the sheets section. He stated he only needed a fitted sheet because he already had a regular sheet at home. I told him it’s always better to buy both sheets so you can have back up. We began to look at sheets together. It was becoming very apparent to me that he had NO IDEA what sheets to buy. He asked why the sheets were different prices and I explained thread count and fabric content to him. I then took all of the available sheet sets side by side in the cart and let him feel the difference. I asked him which one he liked the best he of course asked me… I told him with a smile “Yeah, I’m not sure that really matters.”

He finally chose his favorite and we agreed that I’d go back to his apartment to help him set up his lamp and get his apartment “ready for the ladies.” Yes, I knew this may have been a ploy to get me to his apartment but at the end of the day it was really clear that it was more of a friend vibe then a Brown Chicken Brown Cow feel.

Our first task was to put the sheets on his bed. He pulled up his comforter and he had his bed skirt over his mattress. This was apparently his sheet. Now before you judge, remember this guy was very smart. I think he just didn’t know about bed skirts or sheets. I mean after all I can think of a time when my sister and I talked for 5 minutes about what the first name of the singer of “Marky Marky and the Funky Bunch” was. My brother-in-law finally said “Maybe it’s Mark?”

So we put the sheets on the bed. (Yes I know what you are thinking… Really Jill?! YES! Just put them on and moved on to the living room).

We worked together on the lamp. More differences were found…

Instructions: I don’t read instructions if something seems simple to put together. He wanted to read the instructions. He ended up being right because I may or may not have lead us astray a few times (which is typically what happens when I know better). He was so friendly and didn’t get frustrated at all. But, he did whip out the instructions pretty quickly after the third time of “Oh I know how to do this.”

Cleaning Part 2: As we were putting together the lamp little pieces of Styrofoam were falling down. As the pieces fell he kept stopping and picking them up. I’m a sweep them up later kind of gal. Now by later, I may mean in 10 minutes or 2 days depends.

I left shortly putting the lamp together with a hug and an understanding of friendship. We hung out a few times after that but slowly lost touch. LL- While the goal is finding love sometimes you find a good friend along the way! 

An Officer and a Gentleman?

Now I’m not going to pretend for one moment that I have seen the movie I referenced in the title. I can imagine though with Debra Winger and Richard Gere it is BOUND to be a hit… I have included a soundtrack for each of you to listen to from this movie while you read my love *cough cough* story with an officer of the law. Also, if you want to sing along and slowly do fist pumps in the air I won’t judge.

I was on that special year long valentine’s website and received a message from a very cute guy in a police officer uniform. 

Now, I guess I should go back to while I was going through my separation. One day I came home from work my front door, in my house, in the country, was wide open. I walked in and instantly the hair on the back of my neck stood up.  So of course, I did the safe thing and walked in to look around. I started yelling “Anyone in here?” My dog looked at me from the top of the stairs and did the meanest growl that he ever had done before.  That didn’t stop me.. I mean after all the last time the door was open he was running in our yard. So I continued to go throughout my house (in the country) yelling “Hello! Anyone here?”while my dog followed closely behind. I noticed the backdoor that we never use was also unlocked. Clearly someone had been in my house.

I called the local police station (non-emergency number) since I had already wisely cleared the house. The hottest police officer showed up at my door. We then proceeded to talk about the house, the sale of my house, the sale of his house, and he gave me a good talking to about walking throughout the house. I was separated at the time so didn’t flirt but thought to myself “Oh this is what talking another guy feels like.” We even chatted about my obsession with the police scanner. We talked for so long that another police officer came to make sure he was okay. After all, that second police officer didn’t know I did a thorough investigation already. Things got awkward after the second guy came so the police officer left shortly after. I still wonder where that police officer is… he was so hot!

Anyway so back to the actual date, not my dream police officer date… The officer messaged me for a few nights and then asked me on a date. I figured all police officers are great dates so of course I said yes, plus he seemed nice and was cute. So we agreed to meet about 30 minutes away at a pizza place. When I seen him I thought “yeah he’s pretty cute” and gave him the standard Jill first date hug. He pointed to the hotel next door and jokingly said “Oh there’s a hotel next door for after dinner.” —Here’s your Warning

We then sat down for the meal. The conversation started off well enough.. talking about football. Now I know what most of you are thinking “Ugh football?” but I’m thinking “Yeah Football!” So off to a good start. We then talk baseball and basketball which are two sports I’m not an avid fan of but know somewhat. 

We begin to talk a little about his job and I tell him how adverse I am to violence. That I don’t watch violent movies, violent YouTube videos, or look at graphic images. I specifically tell him I’m an 8 year old when it comes to that sort of thing.


Then we begin to talk about our future goals. Now my future goals are pretty well known.. husband and baby(ies). So, when he said the line “Everyone I know that is married is miserable.” — Ticket#1 I am not sure how to respond to that so I say “I wasn’t miserable when I was married. Maybe you know the wrong people.”

Meanwhile, my sister is blowing up my phone wondering how things are going. I tell him that I need to reply to her or she will think I’m getting murdered. He understands and again jokingly says “Take a picture of the hotel and tell her that’s where we are heading.” Ticket #2 I get he’s joking so I laugh it off.

Then we are talking about our jobs again. My job is always so difficult to explain but clearly I know a little about his job. So he begins to tell me this story about how he was walking somewhere (a park I think) and came across a dead body. Ticket #3 What?! I think… Did he not hear how adverse I am to violence? He talks about the stage of the body and how it was the first dead body found in the new year of his department. Me being a smarty then said “are you sure it wasn’t the last dead body of the previous year?” He didn’t seem happy that I just tried to take away his award. So he then began talking about the stages of rigamortis. Ticket #3.5 (after all I did bring that one on myself)

So, after that dinner was done. He asked if I wanted to go out for drinks and I said “Uhh no, my dogs have been acting weird and I need to get home.” He said “It’s only been an hour”. Maybe if he knew about my 35 minute date he would have felt better. However, I feel bad but continue to talk about my dogs. Truth is they were acting a little weird (so not a lie) but if he was police officer #1… I would have figured it out. LL- Just say you’re not feeling a chemistry connection and move on. You look less lame and then he has a clear message. 


So the goodbye is even more awkward than usual, since I was so lame with my reason. He makes another joke about the hotel Ticket #NotAChance and then he walks me to my car. I think I may have hugged or high-fived and said goodbye. 

Do we Start with Matching BFF bracelets?

When I started dating, one of my close girlfriend gave me some advice she said “Do not give a guy your number without a Facebook or Snapchat. This will help to make sure that he is who he says he is.” For a long time I followed this rule.  Eventually though, I learned the spam feature on my phone and just began blocking texts from guys I didn’t want to talk to anymore. I’ve now learned another crucial reason to follow this rule…
There is one dating profile I have that I check every blue moon. I’ve found mostly creepers and potential murders on this site. I’m sure that is not the case for everyone but for me it certainly has been. On that website I had a message from a good looking guy who seemed to be put together. I had planned on writing him back but got distracted and logged off and forgot about it. (I do that a lot even with the best of intentions).
A few weeks later I received a “wink” on Match from that same guy. Now, I don’t do a lot with those except look at the profile and move on.  I try not to message first, that is way too much pressure! (Scroll down if you need to know the pressure). I  have also learned to let a guy pursue me. I figure this will probably be the only time in any potential relationship he will lead so let him have it. It’s that or because I do like a guy to lead. I can’t remember which 😉
So after the wink and the previous message I finally get a message on Match from Craig*. Once again he proves that he is a nice guy and has pretty good pictures on his profile. He asked thoughtful questions that prove he read my profile and that he actually had a commitment to getting to know me. I joke with him about being persistent and he apologizes. I reassured him that I thought it was sweet. We message several times then I give him my phone number.
For the next few days, he does the Good Morning texts (which I can say really help you feel special and bring the guy to the top of your list). So, we begin texting quite regularly. He seems to have the same commitment to finding a partner and emphasis on communication I do. So, when he asked me on a date I of course said yes..


We agreed to go get Sushi (yes the same place that I had the speed date at). We both show up early (see just like me) and he gives me a hug for a greeting. I notice that he is even better looking than his pictures and smells really nice. We talk over Sushi about our lives and our hobbies. We both like gaming and have played some of the same games. We talk about sports and specifically football (I love the Browns..he was a Bengals fan). The conversation kept going and going and the date was a lot longer than the date I had before at the sushi place.. I thought hmmm…I’m not sure that I feel a strong connection here but this is worth a second date for sure. At the end of the date we give a hug and part ways. He texts me shortly after and asks me on a second date, Without hesitation I say yes.
Well if that was where the story ends, would I be writing this blog? Probably not! So, I get home and follow my girlfriend’s rule and look him up on Facebook. Yes it is after the fact but you can still learn a lot!
I think it is odd that his name populates while I’m typing his last name…. Then his profile loads…
I see his profile picture … Good Photo!
Then see his cover photo…


The picture is of a group of guys… no biggie right? Except I can name every single one of the guys. They are all my ex husbands friends… then I look down and see one mutual friend.. Yep you guessed it… awkward.

I immediately matched the first name to the guy that my ex had mentioned that he was hanging out with during our separation. I thought to myself “No wonder he likes the same games… we had the same gaming partner.”  Now in hindsight, there was one way that I should have figured it out. When the guy gave me his last name I should have put 2 and 2 together. There were 3 ways he should have figured it out because I know for sure I said my ex’s name, my dog’s name, and my kid’s name. Although, I’m not sure that when you are looking for red flags for dating these are the one’s you consider.

Doesn’t Smoke… check

Not talking about 10 pet cats…. check

Isn’t chewing with his mouth open… check

Wants children… check

Not doing a double take by the claw machine… check check

Matching names of friend’s family… yeah not on the radar

First thing in the morning, I sent Craig a text message asking him if he had time to talk. (Never a good sign). Truthfully, I wanted to hear him experience the same awkward moment I had. I mean can you make this stuff up? So, I start out saying that I was really sorry but we couldn’t date anymore. (Yes I’m a little dramatic but I didn’t want it to be a zinger at the end). He sounded disappointed and of course asked why. I told him about I had seen his cover photo and then began to name off the guys in the picture. He was like yeah, yeah, yeah and then I said the nickname of one of their buddies… and he said huh? Then I said “Umm… You’re friends with my ex husband.” he got quiet and then asked “Who?” and I said my ex’s name and said “yeah we can’t date”.

First he got silent then started laughing and said “Yeah we can’t”. He then said “Oh, when you said your kid’s name I even thought. Huh? That’s weird, that’s a name I don’t normally hear and my friend has a kid that age with that name.”. Turns out we were talking about the same kid.

We ended with a mutual best of luck speech and then moved on to our respective dating corners. LL- Never underestimate the power of Facebook. You can tell a lot about someone by doing just a little social investigating.


This photo signifies the feeling of awkwardness that I felt while looking at the profile & includes cats and (future) babies

I’m Sorry…What? Pt. 1

Online dating is a much different experience for guys and girls I’ve found. As a girl, I get to sit back and let the guys write me. Now that isn’t to say that they come to me because I’m this beautiful woman who all the guys like… its because for a guy and girl dating is really all about the numbers.

For me I get about 5-10 first messages on a normal day across my dating accounts. Of these messages I will message back most of them.

The only time I do not reply back is:

1. I’m afraid they look like they will murder me

2. They are not good looking and they say something real profound like hi

3. They are WAY outside of my age range – been messaged by a 93 year old before. (same guy multiple times)

About 75% of those that I message back are the sorry I’m not interested Best of Luck speech. Sometimes it is because I do not find them attractive and sometimes it is because they break one of my Dating Don’t List (future blog). LL- To become attracted to someone who you initially didn’t think was good looking takes time. It does happen in the real world when you get to know someone’s personality and their character makes them attractive but in online dating I don’t have time for it. 

So below are some of the “best” first messages that I’ve received.

Guys with a Goal

Many guys that I’ve talked to in online dating don’t know what they want in life. So I admire the below guys for knowing exactly what they want.

This guy’s goal… BABY NOW


This guy’s goal was looking for a babysitter. He was only 21. You would be amazed how many early 20s guys I have message me. One of which I did go out with (future blog)babysitter

This guy’s goal was to have someone cook for him. I also expect cleaning and birthing offspring was part of his plan. The funny thing was I never mentioned cooking in my profile…


Guys who are Looking for a Hook Up

Online dating is full of people with different agendas. Some people are looking for the real thing (that’s me), some for long term dating, some for friends, and some just for a good old fashioned hook up. I’m glad that the guys below let me know what they are looking for so we don’t waste each others time.
Tinder is full of these “I’m in town looking for a fun time” messages. Here is one that escalated quickly.


To each their own… but not what I’m into. I mean I’m not even into walking in heels on solid ground. He tried to play it off but you know if I had red leather pumps it would have been on like Donkey Kong!


Guys Get Creative

The best messages are the ones that may be repeat opening messages but are so good you have to reply.

This guy said in his profile he had terrible jokes… he was definitely wrong! This was a good one and about Disney. He must have read my blog 😉


This message may not have ended in a love connection but you’ve got to give him props for the creativity! P.S. He did get my number 😉


Guys that Read My Profile

The best part of any message is when I can tell the message was written just for me. The below are the guys definitely worth replying to.

One of my first online profiles talked about my Dating Don’t of “Doing a double take or patting a pocket when passing a claw machine”.


This message I just received today. I haven’t replied yet but you can tell he definitely read my profile! Who knows maybe a future dating blog.


A Category of His Own

I think this guy just decided to throw a bunch of adjectives my way… didn’t reply due to rule #1 above.

I don’t envy guys and the pressure that is on them while dating. But, I do think with a little creativity and  taking the time to read a girl’s  profile, any guy has a shot at landing his dream online date.



So Where Exactly are we Going?

Some decisions you make in dating are winners.. some decisions you make you are lucky you didn’t get murdered. We all have things in life that we are not proud of and this date is one of these lessons learned moments…

One night I received a very friendly message from a young (mid-twenties) cutie named Dave*. I immediately thought he was good looking and of course read through and analyzed his profile. He said that was a strong Christian, vegan, who didn’t drink and was looking for his true love. I immediately thought “Oh Hell No!” so I messaged a very nice I’m sorry but you are not for me message. I am not strong in a church (clearly), love meat, love to drink beer, and not sure that any of these characteristics make me his true love. He was very kind back and told me he didn’t mind if I challenged his opinions and that he was looking for someone to grow with so these were not deal breakers for him. So we chatted for a couple of days and exchanged numbers. He texted me everyday and called me at night on the way home from work. He was a little crazy like me. He would sing at the top of his lungs in the car when a good song came on and he had strong opinions but was willing to talk about them. I really enjoyed talking to him but wasn’t sure where it would go.

Dave worked a  mid-shift so most of our time talking was late at night after he got home. So when he asked me on a date I of course said “yes” but after trying to decide on a good time we realized nothing was going to work out in the near future. So I suggested that we do a date during the week after he got home from work, at 2 am. Well he lived an hour away and not many places are open that late so we decided to meet at the Waffle House pretty close to his house.

Now to most people 2 am sounds impossible to stay up for. However, I am a night owl so I was really thinking why not? I’m up and he’s up no biggie..

So I’m getting ready for our date at 11 pm and decide a hoodie and jeans is a good choice for a first date look at the Waffle House for a girl who loves to be comfy!


After an hour drive, I show up to this Waffle House in this very small town off of the highway. Dave was running late from work and was shortly behind.  I talked to him on the phone while in the parking lot. I was  a little nervous while talking (it was a first date after all)and he said “Why are you talking weird? Are you going to talk this fast when you meet me. I will tell you it’s going to get really annoying very quickly,” He was a true gentleman for someone who just drove an hour to see him. Instead of leaving, like I should I have, I decided to go ahead and meet him since I had driven that far. He arrived at the classy establishment the Waffle House and didn’t even bother to really look me in the eyes when I meet him. I took it as either I was tore up ugly or he was tired.

We ordered our light food and chatted while we ate. He would smile here and there, mainly at the waitress, but was overall nice. While talking to him I kept replaying the conversations we had in our head. Remembering how funny and nice he was. We had even did a couple rounds of name that Disney tune in our late night phone conversations!

So, after we ate it had been maybe 25 minutes. I had my other short date experience and didn’t feel like I had given this guy the chance of a connection so I agreed to go back to his place for a movie.

He said he lived about 10 minutes away in an even smaller town than the one that we were in. I agreed to follow him in his car to his apartment. As I’m driving down  dark country roads and my internet is dying I began to think…I really don’t think this is a good idea (I was right)…

So I arrive at his apartment and follow him inside.

How I imagine people would react to this date

He had recently decorated it and it looked well put together. He has photos of his family throughout  and while it reeks of stale cigarette smoke it is an overall nice bachelor pad. He gives me the tour and then I sit down. He puts in a movie so he can go take a shower. The movie he chooses for us to watch is Titanic. You will see why this is fitting.

After he gets out of the shower he sits on the opposite side of the couch and we make REALLY awkward small talk. He burps throughout our conversation loudly and says “Ahhh” afterward. He then tells me he has to go to the bathroom and would be in there a while. Mmmmm k… I mean we did just have Waffle House but dang it he had just a hash brown. He returns after about 15 minutes then tells me “We’re not having any sexy time tonight because I have diarrhea.”


I am not sure what to say back because one I hadn’t planned on having any definition of sexy time and two he was clearly not the guy I wanted sexy time with (a future blog). I just start laughing, laughing and laughing.

So at this point he’s telling me how he loves the movie Titanic and how he bought it on some anniversary of the ship sinking. Just really deep convo for a movie staring Leonard DiCaprio and with a guy that continues to burp throughout the description. I continue to laugh and I can tell it kind of annoys him that I am not as into his Titanic speech as he is. I realize this guy is not for me. I  suffer through the rest of the movie and awkward small talk shortly after the movie ended. I give another one of those ending Jill hugs leave and try to find my way home.

LL – Do not go to a guy’s house on the first date. It will not end well and you could end up in a basement.

*this is not his real name. I changed it because I’m afraid he may try to come after me for another date after reading this wonderful review.