Determining my happily ever after…

This week I’m at the happiest place on earth… Disney World 🏰

I first came here when I was 27. My husband and I decided to “go all out” that year because we would not be back. “There are so many places to visit in the world… We cannot just go to one place.”

With three pairs of hands (including our daughter) in a circle, on the plane to Florida, we agreed “We will not become ‘those’ people.”

I cried the first time I saw the castle. For me this was bigger than just a vacation. As a kid I never even dreamed about going to Disney. There was no use in wanting to go. Money was way too tight and I would have been disappointed. I have always kept to the dreams I can accomplish. Yet add an adult, there I was standing in front of THE CASTLE, with my Minnie ears, and holding the hands of the people I love. This was a moment.

By the end of the trip I was hooked and have been back many times. I still tear up when I see those white pillars.

This year when I was planning our trip, I decided to make it a road trip. Single mom budget does not account for two flights or the fancy hotel of the past. My daughter is too young to drive so I would be single pair of hands behind the wheel for 14+ hours.

Believe it or not… I was actually excited! Quality time chatting with my fave and busting out our dance moves. What I hadn’t expected was the down time to think and the realizations that come with it. I was driving into the last part of a very adventure filled drive to Florida, inclusive of a wicked snow storm and a spin out that stopped the highway, and had a mom moment. I realized that I was perfectly happy just being her and I.

The truth is I have been focused on dating for the past three years. Yet, I’m not sure that I’m any closer to finding the one. When I was going through my divorce the one idea that kept me going was “maybe I can get remarried someday and have another baby.” Another baby was a major point of contention in my previous marriage. I thought this was my chance.

However, I’m 35 years old. Time isn’t really on my side. For most of my single life this idea would panic me. However, now it a calm option. I am happy with my family being me and my sassy teenager. It rids me of the intense pressure of my loudly clicking time clock.

In my dating life right now everything is up in the air. My dating apps are busy but not substantial. I am not putting the effort needed to make it worthwhile. I’ve been busy planning this trip and working.

I am still talking to Kevin from before although I think we would both agree we are good flirty friends. (No, that is not code for friends with benefits). He’s amazing guy though so who knows.

I do have a high school type crush on a guy from my actual real life (not from a dating profile). Seriously I feel like I’m in high school. The butterflies when I see him, smile when someone says his name “He’s so hot and so nice”, and like my high school experiences… One sided. Ugh!

I can feel though in my life something special is coming. I don’t know what it is but with everything up in the air… Anything is possible! When I stand in front of the castle tomorrow morning and hold my daughters hand I’ll be sure to remember this… With tears in my eyes I’m sure. ❤️

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