You may be wondering what’s that number?
Could it be the number of half gallons of milk I drink last year? Maybe.
Could it be the number of hair ties I’ve lost in 2019 so far? Probably.
Heck, it could even be the number first messages I’ve sent on Bumble and have yet to have a reply? Likely.
Would you be surprised to know that it’s my weight? Or would you even be more surprised that I actually own up to it?
I’m not going to say that my relationship with my weight, the number on the scale, has always been easy. As a matter of fact in my teenage years I actually struggled with it quite a bit. It wasn’t so much the number on the scale as it was that I genuinely felt guilty whenever I would eat.
I distinctly remember sitting in the car at a Taco Bell drive-through with my dad yelling at me to order something and saying “I just don’t want to get anything Dad I just don’t want to eat.”
I felt sick inside at the thought of taking a bite. This went on for a few years and got better during my adulthood. I had a loving supportive husband and with a busy mom/wife schedule my looks took a backseat. Something that I would not let happen in my next relationship… but that’s another topic entirely.
It was interesting the spotlight that was now put on my body in dating. I found myself being very self-conscious whenever I would get undressed in front of a new hottie. (Not that this happened very often mind you… Judge Judy keep your eye rolls to yourself)
I would get more caught up in my head about the way that I looked that I forgot to admire the banging bods I had in front of me. I wasn’t enjoying the experience and they could tell. Let me be very clear… that is not turning anyone on!
So a few months ago I had an epiphany! Yes I actually do need to eat healthier, but there are also 1 million other things that I have to do in any given day. I cannot let my list of to do’s and my action of to don’ts determine my self worth. At the end of the day I’m only getting this one body. I may as well love it and take care of it! It’s still a work in progress. Always.
Because I had this epiphany and this new found love of my body, I realized that my weight is really nothing but a numerical measurement. I was able to look at it as the objective number it really was.
Then I get began to think about other numerical measurements mainly height.
Height is viewed as a statistic and weight as an indicator of identity. This is not because of an actual difference in the data. This is only because of the emotions that we tie to it. One is how far the top of your head is from the earth and one is the force of gravity on your body.
I realized the importance that I myself put on a guy’s height. I love it when a man is taller than me. It throws me off if they are not. Then that’s when it hit me!
The double standard that exists in the world of dating between a woman’s preference for a man’s height and a man’s preference for a woman’s weight. One is considered socially acceptable and the other a douchebag move.
So I called into a local radio station today, and asked for their opinion about the same thing. The radio station is definitely geared more towards men, so I’m sure you can imagine what their opinion would be. The question I asked is…
Should weight be a field that’s filled out on dating apps? Just like height.
Now someone can argue that some dating apps do have things like “body type”. However, this classification is very subjective. Your definition of athletic and my definition of athletic can be two completely separate things. Neither of which are based in facts.
Another argument was women will just lie on their dating profiles just like they do their licenses. Men do this today! They lie about their height. Men and women both lie about their age! At the end of the day though when you’re face-to-face with someone the numbers are really the numbers. Plus there is a difference between a blatant lie (incorrect number) and a difference of opinion on what Curvy means.
What I really be ok if I matched with a great looking guy and he unmatched me because of my weight? Yes! Of course I would!
I would much rather have a man just simply click on a link on a dating app to unmatch me. Then to talk to a guy and meet him and connect with him only to find out he wasn’t attracted because of something I could have put out there early on. That he could have filtered me out and not wasted anyone’s time.
Plus, I have unmatch guys all the time based on things that they have listed in their profile that had nothing to do with my initial right swipe.
- If I guy smokes? Unmatch
- If I guy doesn’t have proper grammar? Unmatch. (But come on guys are their, there and they’re that hard?!)
- Yes even if a guy is significantly shorter than me… Unmatch.
None of these I would argue are a determination of my character. The simple premise of online dating is the initial right and left swipes are nothing but a superficial preview. They are not some in-depth look into a person’s soul to try to find a soulmate. That’s why these right swipe left swipe dating apps are so popular!
You start with thousands of potentials and end with a couple hundred that match your specific criteria.
- Right swipe 🔥 HOT 🔥
- Left swipe ❄️ NOT ❄️
Men having a preference on weight is just another check off. I’m okay with that.
What are your thoughts.. do you think dating apps should add weight as a filtrable field? Or do you think that height and weight should be removed to keep it fair?
Want to listen to me on the radio? Click on the below podcast and go to minute 22:00. We go into the question I discussed, my experience as a Mormon and my virginity.