So Jack* and I have been dating for 3 whole months. I’ve got to say that the one word I have for our relationship so far is Grateful. Grateful for our time, grateful for his effort, and overall grateful that we’ve come to this point.
So before I start this blog I have to issue a disclaimer… a LOUD disclaimer…
♥I am in the Love Eyes, he’s wonderful, everything’s fantastic, portion of the relationship! I reserve the right to go back on everything I’m about to write (although I don’t think I will) ♥
So the thing that I figured out when we were in our 6 month “friend stage” was how different we both are. He even called it out as a potential issue before we started dating. One thing that we both share in common is our ability to think about potential issues. I mean after all you’ve all read my blog up until this point, right?
We put the Paula Abdul hit single “Opposites Attract” to a whole new level:
Him: Jack works out all the time. He runs and lifts and often talks to me while doing this. I actually enjoy it because I can go on long “stories” and I get a few word questions from him (always relevant) then another Jill monologue. Let me just say, working out has produced very good results! Dayum! whew…
Me: No… No… that’s not me at all. I did sign up for a gym membership and since the first of the year I’ve worked out twice a week (woo hoo go me!) I know what you’re thinking?! Oh Jack must have said something… But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. My goal for working out is to NOT feel like I’m dying when I go up a flight of stairs, plus Jack likes to do active things and I want to make sure both of us get to do the things we love.
Him: Jack’s house looks like a freaking Pinterest board. It has nice throw pillows, pictures, and hand built furniture. He does house projects all the time. He has one small project in his basement that he made sure to call out when we were watching a movie. I laughed…
Me: When I first got divorced, I took over the house that my ex and I were renting out. The house was destroyed by the renters. So my sister and my brother in law took over and made my house look very warm and welcoming. We worked for weeks on the house to get it exactly how I wanted. I love my home! However, my house is old and has a TON of projects for me to do. My current project is to add DOOR KNOBS on all my doors…. yes you heard me right… DOOR KNOBS! Long story about the door knobs but long story short… the lack of hardware was completely my fault and over a year ago.
Him: His life is very structured and busy. I can guess most of the time exactly what he is doing on any given day. In order for him to get all the things he does his plans all the time. He knows exactly what and when he needs to do to get the results he wants.
Me: I fly by the seat of my pants in most areas of my life. I am pretty laid back and make it my goal to get certain things done. I can go with the flow most of the time and while I don’t mind structure I typically go with my gut. It can be a little chaotic, but I get the basics done and with a little fun!
Chatting about Us
Him: Only like 3 people in his life know we are dating. He doesn’t tell anyone. Like anyone. He said this is typical for him for most things in his personal life. He rarely posts on Social Media and when he does he doesn’t even use captions to explain the significance of the picture. He even showed me how easy it is to just share a photo. “Like literally I can just click share and it’s done”
Me: I write a blog… talk about him… share pictures of him on social media… post at least a selfie a day. You know the usual behavior of a young 20 something (trapped in a mid-30’s body). Readers, friends, family know about him and basics his life. I’ve asked him if that bothers him and while I don’t think it’s his favorite he says he doesn’t mind.
The good news is that we are both agree on the important things:
Inappropriate is hilarious! The more offensive the funnier it is. If you would be a little embarrassed to post it on your Facebook wall I’ll probably laugh. If you’d be a lot embarrassed I’d cry… of laughter.
We both enjoy a good meme and typically send to one another our favorites…
Always up for an Adventure! Both of us will get into a car and just go. Due to our schedules we haven’t had a chance to do this adventure together for longer than an hour away. I can’t wait for that moment! He doesn’t mind listening to my car karaoke and I don’t mind singing at the top of my lungs to everything 🙂
Communication is key! I haven’t met a guy so willing to talk about our relationship and what I’m thinking and feeling. He is also very candid and honest with his thoughts. He is pretty black and white which helps with my overthinking. I used to read into everything he said and to try to figure him out. I learned that he says what he thinks there is nothing to figure out. If he says I like ice cream he means I like ice cream… NOT I wish you’d take me to the ice cream store… I can’t believe you didn’t think of that when it was hot outside.
Work is very important! We both are driven at work and get things done. We can work long hours and understand that it is important to our careers. As single parents your income is reliant on only you and we both love what we do. It’s nice to see a man so driven in life.
Family is everything! Our kids are important to us and the number one priority. We are both involved parents and look out for the well being of our kids. We haven’t even met each others kid(s) because we both believe in waiting until the right time to make those introductions. It’s not a rush and we both need to figure out us and figuring out if this will last for a while before we add that dynamic to the relationship.
Yes, I do look at these differences and wonder where our future could be. I think the good thing about the two of us is we’re both willing to give a little. Sometimes life needs to be structured and sometimes a Netflix marathon is EXACTLY what the day calls for! It’s funny how I’ll say “Man I had a Jack day today and kicked butt!” and he’ll send me a picture of him watching a movie. Awww.. the photos of that or laundry on the chair just warm my heart and give me hope!
I know this feeling, through a different path entirely. I wish you all the best!