How Long Does it Take for a Bad Date to Self-Destruct?

So in my experience when a guy has enjoyed our date they typically do not follow any type of “day” rule. I think this may be because they think I’m awesome (cough cough) or maybe because they don’t play games like I don’t. The after date ritual with Josh* was no different. He messaged me shortly after our first date asking about how my evening was going and keeping up with the conversation we had at dinner. I found myself starting to enjoy talking to him more. I told myself the lack of chemistry was probably because of my nerves about being out of the dating game so long. Now looking back it was probably because we were texting so I didn’t have to hear “the voice”.  LL- Always trust the chemistry or lack of chemistry you have when you meet someone. Don’t spend time cultivating or working on something that isn’t there. This is dating not marriage.

We had decided we would go out early the next week to meet for Sushi. This is one of my all time favorite meals! Actually, let me clarify, Crispy Spicy Tuna Rolls are my favorite I could do without most others or anything with raw fish in general. Josh said that this was one of his favorite places to eat too so it was a done deal.

I walked in to my favorite spot and was excited to see people my age and younger there. This was already a better start than date #1. He walked in shortly after me and much to my disappointment… the feeling of “Oh golly not this again!” came over me. Immediately…like not one second…


So I gave an awkward first hug and sat down at the table. The rest of the date was a blur… mainly because I tried to tune him out and the other reason was the ramblings that came out of my mouth…

Now in my time dating before this I cannot think of a time where I have flat out broken up with a guy. In college, I had a guy who I met at a church dance (yes that was the place to meet people) and went out with a few times. Now when I say went out with, what I mean is, we went places including his parent’s house to play video games. I was really not feeling him at all. He said his favorite sport is hockey (mmm K I don’t live in Canada), never laughed and literally had 0 tone to his voice.
The farthest this college guy and I had gotten was that we held hands a couple of times but never kissed. Well one night he invited me back to his frat house at OSU to watch a movie and to make tacos. Now I know what you are thinking… Ahh hell they’re planning to Netflix & Chill! Remember folks we were MORMON, there was no Chill just the Netflix (actually a DVD then).  Well while sitting down watching the PG movie we chose he went to hold my hand. I was not feeling it at all. I just couldn’t tell him. So I kept my fingers really tight together and he proceeded to pry my fingers apart one by one and put his fingers in between mine. I never clasped my hands at all even after he had all fingers laced. Well after a few minutes of this “loving” hand holding he released and we watched the rest of the movie. Afterwards, he sent me an AIM and asked me if we were dating and I said “uhh, no, we are just friends”. Yes I didn’t do well with breaking up with people.

So back to Josh, we are at the date and I began to ramble. Everything that he said I replied back with the worst story about myself. For example, he was talking about how he never went to any school dances. I told him how in 9th grade my girlfriend and I were supposed to go to two homecomings (ours and theirs) with two guys from a neighboring school. They came to our homecoming and we had such a horrible time we didn’t notice that they left early. Then we decided that we were not going together to theirs. Those kind of stories. I can see Josh’s face getting more and more annoyed with me and yet I can’t stop. I’m saying it nicely but telling one skeleton after another. “yeah once this guy bought me a nice shirt for Christmas and I got him the a Barnes & Noble gift card. Umm how lame was that!” (True story- same guy in college as above). So we get our sushi and I’m scarfing it down piece after piece.

So, I’m mid-bite of my last sushi piece and he looks at me and says “Are we done here?” and I said “Yes!”. I grabbed the check since he paid for the first one, I knew I was killing any idea of chemistry and it was 1/2 off Sushi prices. I had my credit card ready and handed it to the waitress. No I didn’t need to look it over. He walked me to my car and we gave another awkward hug. No promise of another date or a see you again. I went back into my car looked at the clock and realized that the entire date had only been 35 minutes.

Voice Text
Actual text message with a guy… he called me 3 minutes later

*Josh is not his real name. Changed in case someone hears him at a sushi bar and wants to know if it is him.

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