What Exactly am I Aiming for?

I am a strong believer that it does not matter the location of the date, but only the person you are with. This has never been more true than the date I am about to tell you about…

I met Nate* first through a brief conversation on OkCupid. We really began to talk on Tinder. When he first messaged me on Tinder I had NO IDEA who he was or that we had spoken before. After a while, he was able to remind me of our previous conversation to the point where I remembered who he was.

The very next day we had a date at a Mexican restaurant after work. He was a very nice guy who was very smart, good looking and close with his family. We had talked about his philosophies on dating and while we were different we enjoyed spending time together. We agreed to go on another date within the next couple of days.

The second date was just a quick date to Steak N Shake. We didn’t have a lot of time but it was a good one hour date and we chatted.

The third date we agreed to meet at Panera Bread. He was running late and then went to a different Panera Bread then I was at. In total, he was 30 minutes late. Not a great start but not a deal breaker either because it was just a simple mistake. I know I’m not perfect so I don’t expect anyone else to be. He sat down (I already ordered our food) and we talked some more.

It was this when I realized how different we really were.

Clothing Brands: He was talking about how often he changed out his wardrobe and how he buys only the best brands. He then began to name of Express, Men’s Warehouse (he had a suit job), and other really fancy guy clothes names. I then replied with “I buy my clothes at Meijer and Target”.

Clothing Choices: We were at Panera and it was a third date so I wore a VS hoodie and VS yoga pants. He talked to me about how he always thinks its important to look nice anywhere you go. I made some comment about my clothing and he said “No I think you look nice! I just meant in general” I then said “You do realize I’m wearing a dinosaur t-shirt under this hoodie right?”

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Actual t-shirt 

Cleaning: I always like to ask about people’s cleaning habits. I am clean but not super clean and I don’t like to feel pressured to clean. This is actually a childhood thing that has surfaced as an adult. He said how he just did a basic cleaning each week. I asked him what that included he then said “Dusting, vacuuming, sheets, and cleaning corners.” Corners?! I am more of a cleaning when I have time. Weekly corner cleaning? Yeah not me!

So after a rowdy conversation of “Can two people really be this different?” I realized that we may have a better friend connection than love connection. After, our food he stated that he needed to go to Target to buy sheets. I laughed and said that’s where I was heading next to get a calculator. We decided to go together.

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Me at Target.. well not really but funny eh?

We both arrived to Target and grabbed a cart together. We were laughing and talking as we headed to the home department and began to look at lamps. He said he needed a new lamp and I told him that I would be more than willing to help him get his apartment “ready for the ladies”. We chose a lamp together and found a really nice one. I don’t spend that much on home decor but I realized it was another difference we had. He really didn’t seem to have an opinion on the price of the lamp that I thought was a little pricey. We looked at hanging pictures and other home decorating items. We didn’t get any but I did tell him not buy a couple of items “There is no need to spend that kind of money on something!”

Then we got to the sheets section. He stated he only needed a fitted sheet because he already had a regular sheet at home. I told him it’s always better to buy both sheets so you can have back up. We began to look at sheets together. It was becoming very apparent to me that he had NO IDEA what sheets to buy. He asked why the sheets were different prices and I explained thread count and fabric content to him. I then took all of the available sheet sets side by side in the cart and let him feel the difference. I asked him which one he liked the best he of course asked me… I told him with a smile “Yeah, I’m not sure that really matters.”

He finally chose his favorite and we agreed that I’d go back to his apartment to help him set up his lamp and get his apartment “ready for the ladies.” Yes, I knew this may have been a ploy to get me to his apartment but at the end of the day it was really clear that it was more of a friend vibe then a Brown Chicken Brown Cow feel.

Our first task was to put the sheets on his bed. He pulled up his comforter and he had his bed skirt over his mattress. This was apparently his sheet. Now before you judge, remember this guy was very smart. I think he just didn’t know about bed skirts or sheets. I mean after all I can think of a time when my sister and I talked for 5 minutes about what the first name of the singer of “Marky Marky and the Funky Bunch” was. My brother-in-law finally said “Maybe it’s Mark?”

So we put the sheets on the bed. (Yes I know what you are thinking… Really Jill?! YES! Just put them on and moved on to the living room).

We worked together on the lamp. More differences were found…

Instructions: I don’t read instructions if something seems simple to put together. He wanted to read the instructions. He ended up being right because I may or may not have lead us astray a few times (which is typically what happens when I know better). He was so friendly and didn’t get frustrated at all. But, he did whip out the instructions pretty quickly after the third time of “Oh I know how to do this.”

Cleaning Part 2: As we were putting together the lamp little pieces of Styrofoam were falling down. As the pieces fell he kept stopping and picking them up. I’m a sweep them up later kind of gal. Now by later, I may mean in 10 minutes or 2 days depends.

I left shortly putting the lamp together with a hug and an understanding of friendship. We hung out a few times after that but slowly lost touch. LL- While the goal is finding love sometimes you find a good friend along the way! 

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