So as you all know the dating life does not end after I write a blog about a guy. Warning what I’m about to write is not for close family or those who do not watch PG13 movies as it gets a little real 😉
Some things that are true about almost all of my blogs (I say almost as there can be an exception):
- I write a blog about a guy a few months after we go on our dates
- If I have contact information for a guy I will send him a link with the blog about him and ask for his feedback (although very recently I’ve stopped doing this… I mean after all if you read my blog before keep reading)
- I keep everything PG13 (at most) as I’m not trying to be Carrie Bradshaw writing Sex in the City stories… plus I have a rep to protect. But, yes, I’m an adult figuring out the dating world so there are some not PG13 moments in my dating life. Some of these moments are the funniest… I may get the guts to do those stories as it’s own blog.
- Every guy I date now knows about my blog. I’m very open about it and while it’s caused more issues than its saved…I still like to give a fair warning (Topic for a future blog for sure)
- I always want to stress this is my dating adventure. The guy may think differently and if he does he’s always welcome to comment.
- I ALWAYS change the names. Again this is my dating adventure not taking anyone else on this adventure with me 😉
Now we got those out of the way here are my updates:
Jason* was a regular reader of my blog so I messaged him after I wrote about him. He said he was surprised that I liked him that much and that my blog was “fair” and “accurate”. The fact that he was surprised really enlightened me and helped me learn to be more upfront with my feelings with future guys. I was really happy that he thought it was accurate since he had been such an important part of my blog writing and gave me feedback after each blog post.
Since he was such a big supporter both here and in life, I refriended Jason back on Snapchat and decided to try out the “friends” thing. He was still dating the lady he chose over me and was happy with her. After a few weeks of regularly chatting, I realized that my intentions were not the best. It’s not something that I am proud of at all and probably my biggest regret about my dating life so far.
We both kept things in the friend zone in our conversations (although I did leave the door open to a possible re connection) and I kept telling myself I could do the friends thing. It was when I ran into him and his girlfriend at a local festival that I had the stark realization that I was making a HUGE mistake still talking to him. I felt a punch to my stomach. I needed to end our friendship but that’s really tough when I thought he hadn’t done anything wrong.
I had a conversation with my sister (my dating reality check) and she said “Can you really just be friends Jill?” and I got to thinking. So it was then I realized that I could not be a true friend to him and already knew my place in his life. So I sent him a message. I thought he’d be surprised when I told him I didn’t have good intentions and needed to end our friendship. However, he wasn’t. He told me that he was keeping me around for “backup” for his girlfriend. That was a great lesson learned and something I realize I deserved given the situation… yeah thanks for that.
Oh Romeo*! So one of the things I did not stress enough in my initial blog was this guy was really not kind. Yes, I’m one who tries to see the best in everyone but this guy’s date was really bad. So when he messaged me “Hello Jill” a few MONTHS after our date I was confused. I looked up the telephone number on Facebook and instantly thought “UGH”.
Now a little piece of Jill info- I do not keep numbers in my phone… at all! If it’s been like a week since I have heard from you then you’re getting deleted. I think there will be like 3 Mikes I’ll talk to over the history of my dating so why keep each of their numbers if they are history?
So Romeo messages me and I pretend not to know who he is. Yes it was a game and yes I try hard to not play games but this situation was a hot freaking mess. So I asked him who he was and he told me. Then I text something like “I’m not sure why you are messaging me? I haven’t heard from you in months and didn’t feel any connection after our second date. Judging on the time between our date and your text I’m guessing you agreed?”
He did not reply back….
Until, he found me on a dating site. He again messaged me and said “Jill, whatever happened between us?” What?! I don’t think I replied back, although I was tempted to send him the link to the blog. For everything that I wrote about there were worse things that happened that I didn’t write about. So I’m not sure where the term “us” even comes into play…. seriously dude? … yeah that’s annoying.
Nate*… Nate… Nate…
So I did not save Nate’s information after we stopped talking and the time that I started blogging was after our time together. So when Nate messaged me a few days after I posted my blog about him I was sure that’s why he messaged me. I didn’t know how we would have found out about my blog but it’s the internet. I’m not going to hate on anyone that read it.
So here is a paraphrased version of our text conversation (I deleted it because I was pissed):
Him: Hey Jill! How have things been?
Me: Hey Nate! (looked him up on FB by his phone number) Wow I haven’t heard from you in forever. Things have been great! How have you been?
Him: Really good! I actually have a new girlfriend.
Me: Wow! That’s awesome! You’re a great guy I’m so happy for you. Guess what?
Me: I started writing a blog about dating and just wrote one about you and I.
Him: What’s the website?
Me: <insert this website>
Him: Great I’ll check it out…. So my new girlfriend, I like her a lot! She’s perfect for me! Plus she’s a total freak
Me: Oh that’s nice! Sounds right up your alley.
Him: Yes she keeps mentioning that we need to get a third person.
Me: Mmm k?
Him: I always thought you were cool to hang out with and wanted to know if you were into that kind of thing…
Me: Yeah…you and I never had a two not sure why we’d have a three? But I’m definitely flattered.
Him for the next 5 minutes: Come on Jill! Live a little…She’s really pretty… You should give it a try.
About 10 minutes after this conversation he proceeds to go OFF on me about the blog.
Here are his concerns:
- Everyone will know it’s him (My reply: How? I didn’t use your real name or anything specific about you)
- He buys his socks at a discount store why didn’t I mention that? (My reply: I didn’t know that… hence the reason why I didn’t mention it. I can add it in if you want- He did not seem to be amused at that comment)
- Why I didn’t I mention how we… <insert PG13/R act here> (My reply: I’m not into the Sex and the City writing dude… but I will say he did compliment my skills 😉 Thanks Man!)
- He’s going to comment on the bottom of the blog (My reply: No problem. Go on ahead.)
- I need to delete the blog (My reply after a lot of consideration: No… I won’t. You’re only mad because I won’t join you and your girlfriend. You’re being ridiculous)
So the conversation started getting a little threatening… so I went ahead and blocked him. I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life… yeah that’s crazy.
Just like my entire adventure in dating so far…