So two months post break up. Well I guess I can say two months but honestly we talked until a few weeks ago. To someone that is getting bored of the post break up blogs and looking forward to a little dating action… I hear ya! I can’t wait for that time either.

Last week I had my monthly meeting with my counselor. I told her how I’m struggling with moving on. She gave me great advice and told me to take the next 30 Days and focus on me. Don’t text Jack* and don’t go on dating sites. It was great advice and I followed it for 3 days then… Yesterday happened.

I woke up and the very first thing I thought about was Jack. Like literally first thing in the morning. It has been a while since I was in that phase. Jack was not perfect, our relationship wasn’t perfect and yet whenever anything happens he’s the one I want to tell. 

To everyone that is thinking “Come on Jill! Get it together!” I hear ya once again.

Believe it or not I know the below things:

• Jack is not looking for the same type of relationship I am. I’m looking for a life teammate. Someone to grow with and learn from. He’s not… At least not with me.
• Jack is not pining after me. The last time we spoke it was clear this was one sided.  He was caring but the emotions tied to this break up are mine.
• Jack is very clear he is not to reply to my texts or answer my calls. In a stroke of genius I thought this was a great idea and told him “Do not reply to me or answer my calls”…More to that in a minute.
• My texting Jack or talking to him won’t make him change his mind on his future goals. That is going to take actual focus on his part, which sadly he won’t make time for. 

Now onto yesterday… I woke up and couldn’t stop thinking about him. Legit all day. I went from never texting him to sending him a bunch of random shit throughout the day. Like oh one of my favorite You Tube clips, heres a pic of my kid, here is a quote… (click on the video it’s hilarious 😂)… I’ll wait.

Then as if the 5 unreturned text messages weren’t enough I called him. Yes I called him… He put it to voicemail. 

In a panic this was my message:

Hey Jack! It’s Jill. Good job on not picking up. I mean…umm…. That’s stupid right? Yeah I didn’t really have anything to say so  yeah umm take care. Bye!

Wow so yeah that must have been karma from me laughing so hard at that guy “free styling” in the clip above. So what do I do to stop the crazy?!

Send a text explaining how I want to talk to him again and have him reply back. Yep ladies and gentlemen I think my next blog will be about how I’m dealing with being blocked by Jack. I’m thinking that 30 day challenge sounds pretty good right now…. 

So to all my readers.. How do you move on from someone that you really think you’re meant to be with? Especially since this is the first guy I’ve felt that way about. It’s a lot tougher than I thought it would be and I’m making mistakes all around and feeling crazy in the meantime.