“I know how to be a wife and mom, its the sexy attracting men thing that’s throwing me off.” No where is that more prevalent than during Halloween. 

A few things to know about me to gather some context:

1. I was Mormon during my teens and right after High School. I write about this in my first blog 😘
2. I was married and had a baby when I was 20. I was a stay-at-home mom during the first few years of my daughter’s life. Most of the time I was in pajamas with spit up and a baby attached to my hip. 
3. I didn’t have my first drink until on my 21st birthday. My ex-husband and I went to Applebee’s for dinner. We had a one year old at the table and I ordered an Appletini. It was the only drink that I recognized on the menu. I only knew about it from my favorite show at the time, Scrubs, it was JDs signature drink.

So needless to say, I did not have a time in my life where I lead with my sex appeal. Everywhere I go there are women that look absolutely beautiful and have a lot to offer inside too! They know how to do great make up, have “just the right” amount of cleavage, and walk in heels like they are walking in sneakers. 

Don’t get me wrong I am a good looking lady (if I do say so myself) and have a lot of skills to offer. I can make and take a sarcastic comment, calm a crying baby while folding laundry, talk about sports and be my man’s biggest fan and supporter. These things though that are great in the long term but in a world of swipes left and right how am I supposed to compete?

When I was thinking about this blog, I actually was a little down on myself. Why can’t I learn to walk in heels with more grace then a baby giraffe? Bringing the Cardi “cardigan” to the party is not sexy in anyone’s book.  Can’t I just lose a little weight to feel sexier?! Why couldn’t I be more of the lady that men want on their social media instead of the best friend? 

Halloween comes round and I need to shop for a costume for a party. I see all the sexy occupations, animals and scary creature options and think hmm is it my time?! In my mid thirties? Should I break the librarian or hoodie look? I debate on many options and finally land on a costume and hit the purchase button… 

That Saturday, I ask my daughter and her best friend to do my hair and make up. I need it to look perfect! I am going to pull out all the stops. These young women know every You Tube make up person, the best pallets, and how to create a “smoky eye”. I was  going to look smokin (get it like smoky eye 😉) for sure. They do make up better as teenagers than I ever have.

They carefully curl my hair and with precision apply many layers of eyeshadow. I get dressed in my costume and grab a pair of black heels with gold bows and flats as options and head off to the store. I walk into Kroger to get my drinks (beer of course…you didn’t think I drank wine did you?) and was surprised by the reactions of the men. I get a lot of smiles and some comments. My costume was working! 
Driving to the party stopped at a light, beers in the back, singing Young Thugs “My Best Friend”, I notice a group of women pointing at me. They are talking to a small set of eyes peering from the back seat. I turn off my music, roll down my window and get a big smile and wave. It was only then that I knew I picked the best costume for me.

Yes a lot of women can carry the hot look and yes I am a little jealous of them. However, its just not me. Yes, I can use a little more make up in my everyday life, wear my hair down more often and put a sweater on instead of a hoodie to the store. But I’m always going to be the mama with yet another cardigan and flats playing rap music. What I realized is, rather than pretending to be someone I am not, the right man will enjoy my brand of sexy! After all in dating, being you is the sexiest thing you can do in heels or flats! 😍

Oh PS… The heels didn’t even make it to the front door. I didn’t think a broken ankle was worth it to “complete the look”.