The Aftermath…

So I said in a recent Facebook live video that I wouldn’t talk about Jack again. Turns out though, I should probably let everyone know exactly what happened after the blog.

After writing the last chapter, I did an Instagram poll where I asked if I should send my blog (The Last Chapter) to Jack…

The results were overwhelmingly NO!

However, once I received two yeses I sent it over anyways. The poll was up for two hours. I sent over the blog in five minutes. I have no self-control…. I promise I normally do listen to my friends!

So I sent over the blog and wasn’t expecting a reply back. However, after about 10 seconds I got a reply back from Jack. It was a sad face emoji and noooo written out really dramatically. He even said don’t close the book. I was trying to move on so I once again reiterated what I wanted to figure things out.

He of course, in usual Jack fashion, did not reply back to this. He did message me the next day though. It was just a normal text and didn’t address what I asked. I still liked talking to him so I continued to reply. We followed this for a couple more days. Then on Thursday night, we texted with each other until almost 2 in the morning. We talked about how work and life was. I heard nothing from him on Friday.

Then came Saturday, when everything ended..

I was so excited to go to the local Celtic festival. I normally don’t go to these kind of things and after asking a few my friends to go with me I ended up going alone. I was actually excited to go. I have dreams of someday taking a vacation by myself. So I thought a festival 10 minutes away from home was definitely a good start.

I got dressed up because I wanted to have the most confidence I could muster. I was looking cute and I was ready to go!

I arrived at the festival and got a few beer tickets. I definitely wasn’t expecting to do this alone and completely sober. Plus isn’t it an Irish tradition have a beer in hand?! I was so surprised by how many people were there! At least a couple thousand I’m sure! It went on through many streets and there were tents set up playing music in several different areas. It was definitely very different than hanging out inside my house. Plus after a few hot guy smiles I was feeling good!

Then as I’m walking through one of the streets, I see him…. Jack. Not only him. But the girl that he dated immediately after me. I thought they had broke up and my heart sank. I’m still not sure that he saw me. I walked quickly by and he had this weird smile on his face. It could’ve just been his face, he had gas or that he saw me. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

I walked quickly by. I did not say a word. I texted him “don’t ever text me again” I was hurt and I knew I wouldn’t be able to do the friends / dating game again.

I headed to a tent that was playing fun Irish music and tried to clear my thoughts. I wasn’t sure how I felt but I let myself get lost in the music for a few songs. I held my beer up high, danced and sang along until the music stopped.

I cannot believe I’d seen him… I hadn’t seen him since the run in at Target before Christmas. I still couldn’t shake the sad feeling so I headed to a quiet spot away from the people to say a little prayer. After a few minutes watching the sunset I headed back to the festival and determined I was going to have fun!

I walked back into the festival. Although I was still sad I was determined to have a good time! I couldn’t let a little run in ruin my independent woman moment! I walked around for about an hour. Then I see him again. This time he was walking by himself and we directly crossed paths. 5,000 people and I see him twice… I needed to say something.

I keep walking for moment, pet a really cute dog (because why wouldn’t I?! he was really cute) and turned around. I headed over to the area where he was walking and see him. This time, however, she is with him. I knew I had to take my chance. I knew I had to say something to him. So I took a deep breath. Then I said hi!

He introduced me and Christa* to one another. I said hello very friendly and I think I even said nice to meet you. To be honest this entire conversation is a blur. So I may get things wrong. But I know the basic chain of events.

He then asks me, “Jill, are you still working out of Columbus?” This moment is when I go from sad to livid. He was going to pretend that we hadn’t just talked about this very thing on Thursday. He was trying to make it seem to Christa that I was just someone from his past. That he hadn’t spoke to me in a while. Maybe I was. But he knew and all of you knew I wanted to be part of his future.

So instead of playing along. I said “Oh come on Jack! We just talked about this on Thursday. I told you I work there a couple times a week.”

Then he asked me if I was there with my sister or friends. I don’t know why, but at this moment I lied. I told him that I was there with friends and they were down the way. I immediately felt embarrassed that I was there by myself while he was there with his new/ old girlfriend.

things continue to be very awkward. At one point I even tell him that I’m going to block him from any way he can contact me. Then I turned to Christa and said “The reason things feel so awkward right now is because he was talking to you when he was dating me.”

Her eyes got big and I turned around and walked away. It was the truth.

While I don’t think he was dating her I’m pretty confident he was keeping her close enough for a back up. She had sent him a 😘 text one time while we were at dinner. He said it was a 😢 but I had eyes that can see. I never asked him to show it to me then… I didn’t have much of a backbone.

I walked away and immediately called one of my friends. I couldn’t believe I had done that! I am not the kind of woman to cause drama or even to confront someone when the only person impacted is myself. Not so public. Not so personal. Definitely not to Jack.

I was so proud of myself! I had learned the one lesson I needed to learn with him. One that I knew was outstanding. That was to stand up for myself about the grey. The not so black and white situations. I had thought about that one minute at dinner A LOT! Why hadn’t I asked to see the phone? I knew why… I didn’t want to seem crazy and I didn’t want him to walk away. This time I was a little bit crazy and I did the walking. I also didn’t care what he thought about me in that moment.

In retrospect, I realized I may have jumped to some conclusions in this situation. I have no idea if they were there dating or friends. He probably even felt awkward and that may have been the reason for the work question. I don’t know and it didn’t matter. I wasn’t even sure my purpose in saying hi. I just knew I had to.

However, I don’t regret it. The reason why is because it gave me the strength to actually move on. I know I’ve said it before. I know people are tired of hearing me say it. But it was like that one moment in the court room with my ex-husband when I knew I was done.

I did unblock him from both calling and texting. This is not because I want to hear from him in a romantic way. But he will always be someone that I care about and I will always be willing to help him out if he ever needs it. In that way he is just like the men I’ve loved and moved on from before.

I re-logged in to the dating sites this past week and already have a few promising hopefuls! I even have a date planned tomorrow! This time I am really excited and know that my guy is out there. I’m so freaking pumped! 😘

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