Alright, so apparently this cliffhanger was bigger than I thought as the number of people that have reached out to me to get all the deets has been more than ever before. So I couldn’t keep everyone waiting…
Before I continue the timeline from last time , I want to remind you of one important call out that we made together….
Please put on your helmets and take off your judgments because they need to be left at the door.
We left off with a promise of a second date with Ed. The conversation before the planned date was just as much fun as before the psychic reading and sudden ending. This time he was going to drive closer to me, so I found a local biker bar that also served good food.
THE SECOND DATE
I arrived before him and found an outdoor picnic table. I was trying to be a little COVID aware so thought reducing our level of exposure from other people was important. I even texted him as he drove “don’t forget your mask!”
I sat outside and honestly was a little nervous about seeing him again. We had such a great time and I wasn’t sure if we could have that same level of connection after my ending it. However, when he showed up it was a little awkward at first but that quickly disappeared.
I told him about the psychic reading and the same thing I put on here. He laughed even though I could tell he was a little like WTF… this lady may be crazy (ticket for 1 please). We chatted over the table and he and I kept inching closer as we chatted. He had told me before he wasn’t going to kiss me on the second date either. Since I ended it and he didn’t kiss me on the first date. However, by the time we were a couple drinks in he went for it. He kissed me at the picnic table and in front of all the bikers outside of the bar. It was funny and we should have been embarrassed and yet we didn’t seem to care.
We made it back to his car and continued the “conversation” outside of his truck. It reminded me of one time when I was 13 and went to Kings Island with a church group. I met a hot 17 year old in line for the haunted boo ride (although it was after the smurfs but before what it is now). I can’t remember. But I rode that ride multiple times just to hang out with the hottie. By the end of the night we were making out by the Eiffel tower in front of the church group and leaders. My girlfriends teased me about it on the bus ride home. His name was Nick.
This truck moment reminded me of that Kings Island Eiffel tower magic.
So Ed had a few drinks and it was getting late. So he decided he wanted to find a hotel to stay the night at. It was only our second date so I was not going to offer up where I lived. So together we found him a hotel and booked a room. We agreed that I would go over there and we could continue to make out… yes make out we said.
I think we all know where this is going…
I mean it had been almost 2 years since the last time I had spent “special time” with anyone (the 26 year old Andrew from 2018). So I was totally down when it was happening and again Ed was hot, we had chemistry, and the outside the truck make out session was NICE. All the necessary components for a hot hook up. I hadn’t gone in the hotel room with that intention but wasn’t disappointed that it happened. I actually felt relieved!
Like whew my streak is finally over….
Ed asked me to stay over several times but take care of my dogs at home so I left. I was feeling totally vulnerable afterwards and being vulnerable is of course very uncomfortable for me… so before I left I gave him a high five and said “sorry to hit it and quit it”.
He laughed at my awkwardness and kissed me goodbye. He offered multiple times to walk me to my car but I just called him while I walked instead. He then waited for me to text him I got home before he went to bed.
In a later conversation he explained to me…
Notice how I reply back right away when you text me when you get home?
Yes… actually it is super fast
That’s because I’m not going to be able to go to sleep until I know you’re home safe
Needless to say, I slept very well that night!
Then the next day comes and I legit didn’t know what to do with myself. I know Ed is dating and has slept with other people. I mean he definitely hasn’t gone 2 years and he’s been very honest with me about his dating experiences so far. So what does that mean for me? I normally don’t sleep with people until we are exclusive.
There is something called Emotional Chastity that my friend told me about. How I took it is you focus on doing only physical and emotional things that the relationship warrants. This means you don’t have super deep conversations or sex with people early on. These actions create the illusion of deeper connections with people then the relationship actually deserves. It prevents disappointment or unrealistic expectations.
This is exactly what I didn’t do here…
I know that I get all the feels after sex and now I have all these mixed feelings for a guy that several weeks ago I was ending it with because of a psychic reading. He and I continued to talk and even had a 5 hour phone conversation / FaceTime. So things were good on his side but I was panicking inside. (crazy train ticket for 1 please)
I debated do I…
- Just go ahead and end it with him.. I mean there is no way he’s ready for a woman like me and I can’t be the “cool” girl that just dates for fun (no he’s never said this… this is my mind spinning)
- Not tell him how I feel about this because I know it’s too much too soon but then just end it if he sleeps with someone else
- Actually have the conversation that if he wants to sleep with me he will need to only sleep with me or if he wants to play the field that’s cool but I’m just not going to be one of the players
So I decided on number 3.
I blurted it out in a conversation and surprisingly his reaction was like “cool”. I then told him how I debated on what I was going to say and the options above. Again I overshare when I’m nervous. He laughed at that. It’s amazing how I can be totally confident about somethings and then when it comes to my heart I am terrified to put myself out there.
To be honest, I’m not sure exactly sure how he felt about my new boundary. I kind of zoned out as I was saying it since I was so nervous. I don’t think he was ready to go there with me… he is enjoying being single. I mean he still is single. Just his penis is not.
For our third date, we met at his house and he drove to an Italian restaurant. The food was pretty good and it was a little fancy. So it was a perfect third date. We then went back to his house and had a blast hanging out in his back porch.
I even drove a little motorcycle scooter thing up and down the street for a bit. It was hilarious and I had a blast. Then we listened to music and drink beers as we talked about music.
Then he showed me his phone and I noticed a very nice lady had messaged him.
Is that Tina* that friend from Hawaii*? (crazy train is beginning to start)
Yes – I think she’s sending me a photo from her hike
Oh, (noticing a very beautiful selfie before the picture of the hike) she sends you selfies with Have a Great Day? (choo choo crazy train)
Yeah I guess she does
You know that she likes you right? I mean women just don’t send selfies with have a great day to guys they are not interested in... especially in full make up
Yeah I really don’t think so Jill. We’re just friends
Then the conversation continued on to other things. But the selfie thing kept running in my mind. Legit like a crazy person. So a little later, after we both thought it would be funny to message my guy friends with their opinions, it was brought up again. I’m sure that I was the one that brought it up. I realized I was being ridiculous and start to back off.
Then he says, So you won’t mind if I go Hawaii to visit her next month like I had planned?
I turn around and say… WHAT?
With the below face – Ed compared the tone and face to a mom that had a child just curse at her.
Ed laughed as he was joking with me. He had a field day with it. However, I felt completely ridiculous. Yeah so the crazy train has left the station. I mean I have always struggled with timeframes and relaxing but this time it’s too much. I’m not sure why it is but this vulnerability and anxiety is at an all time high
BRINGING IT BACK TO NORMAL-maybe
Luckily, Ed had a vacation with his family that he left for the day after the third date. So I have time to recoup and get back on the normal bus or at least try to. Hopefully we will have a fourth date… We will see if he wants to ride this train again… (pun intended)