May 2nd – My WORST Date Ever….2

Thank you so much for the donations to my fundraiser for American Cancer Society! We have already raised over $100 toward resources to help assist cancer patients and their families.Whether you donate money, time, or just a kind gesture of help to those around you, I will consider this challenge a success. ❤️

So Neil and I had a great first hangout / date and the chemistry continued over text message, hell he even called me. I personally love phone calls when I’m getting to know someone and I’ve found it is pretty rare. To be able to keep those calls interesting is even rarer.

We both have pretty busy schedules so the next date we planned was the following Saturday.

When I was in the 6th grade (the first AND second time), we learned about the Medieval Ages for the first half of the year. I was mesmerized with stories of peasants, monarchies, lepers and even the black plague. The crowning glory was a Medieval Dinner thrown by the PTO. We all dressed in our favorite Medieval garb (I went with a dark colored dress), decorated our own poster board cut out shields, and sat at large tables while parents delivered food and drinks. I’m sure that many parents and teachers spent hours to make the event magical, yet the thing I remember the most, was the GRAPE JUICE.

Oh my word, my first glass of grape juice at that celebration was the grapiest, sweetest, and most soul filling juice I have ever had. I couldn’t hold in my excitement when a peasant parent came around to offer a refill. I almost shook when I said yes! However, I was quickly disappointed when I realized it was a from-concentrate off-brand glass of purple stuff. I mean it was good, but not black plague curing good. I had spent the remaining years of my life chasing that good good grape juice high.

That was until a few days into chatting with Neil, when I found it, the real deal Evander Holyfield OG grape juice. It was Santa Cruz Organic Concord grape juice (not an ad but should be). I drank a few sips and was instantly transformed back to poster board shield covered wall cafeteria feels and pure joy hitting my lips and heart.

So I suggested to Neil that for our second date (or first official) we go to the Renaissance Festival.

The festival was about 45 minutes from the both of us so it only made sense that we would carpool. He volunteered to drive and I accepted, I love to be a passenger princess. When he pulled up he had 2 unopened cold bottles of sparkling water in the cup holders. I appreciated his thoughtfulness and it was my favorite flavor of sparkling water, no flavor.

We drove together and he was a conscientious driver and the conversation flowed. It wasn’t as funny as the first time convo but it was more in depth. We arrived at the Festival in our “normal” clothes, no we did not dress up. I am cool but honestly not that cool (no sarcasm either, that is an event!)

We took our time going through each section of the festivities. To be honest, it was so crowded it didn’t have that flare that I grew accustomed to in the 6th grade. Our first stop was a Mead taste testing and we shared a small flight of flavors. The mead was tasty (not as good as the grape juice) and he let me drink all of the sample that was my favorite. We then perused through the shops and he asked me to pick a favorite scent at a soap shop and bought me a bar. Again, kind and thoughtful.

I did notice a couple pinkish flags when going through the busy crowds.

The first was when he held my hand he held it in a way that was more of a guiding way than a relationship way. Now it wasn’t as bad as one time I dated a cop and he would grab my wrist when crossing the street. It was more of a firm hand hold and he would signal me through his hand when to stop and when to go. This I wasn’t sure about and it was more of a “huh” moment and not like “stop”.

The second was that he wouldn’t go through crowds or cross lines. He went only as fast as the slowest person in the crowd. We sent way too much of my life (like 5 seconds each time) waiting on strollers, stranger chit chat, and tying of shoelaces. In the beginning, he would do the firm hand hold to try to keep me from pushing through but by the middle I just went. I wanted to prove my Independence. No one puts a medieval lady in a corner… I mean except for decades of European customs and misogyny.

After navigating through all the shops and food options, we decided it was time to go. Since we had such a good time, I enjoyed hanging out with him, and it was fairly early in the evening, we decided to go to his place. The idea was to watch a documentary and order dinner in.

After we got to his place, he offered me a beer from his fridge. I accepted the can and he poured himself a large glass. He picked one of his favorite documentaries which was on the Federal Reserve. I’m pretty sure that his intent was to bore me so much that we would make out. His intent was fulfilled and it was hot and heavy… I mean not bow chicka bow wow but more like bow chicka – not now.

He did try to push it a couple of times but did respect the No in that he didn’t physically move past when I said No. But he asked a LOT. Not a great example of consent but I didn’t feel really uncomfortable.

Then we both decided to turn off the thrilling Federal Reserve documentary mid way through. Now, I do want to say I do enjoy documentaries that are a little bit more intellectual… But… not on a date where you are only half paying attention. So we decided to watch a 30 minute episode of each of our favorite shows. He picked Avenue 5 and it was pretty good. It’s about a team of space travelers that get stuck on a spaceship in space (at least that was my 1 episode sample). I didn’t know how ironic the premise of his show would turn out to be the end of the date.

You know the amount of performance pressure you have when you’re presenting something at work? The feeling of wanting to be funny, engaging, and showcase your best self? Times that by 10 and that’s how I felt when trying to choose my favorite show. I wanted something I loved and something I thought he would think was good. So I kept scrolling, scrolling and scrolling…

It was at that moment where I thought I was getting close, he took the remote control out of my hand and said

“at some point you need to piss or get off the pot”

and laughed.

I was taken back because I had no idea where that came from and I couldn’t tell if he was joking, being an ass or both. He then proceeded to put on a stand up comedy special that he “loves” and said

“I know you don’t like stand up comedy specials but this is my favorite.”

Now I know that I’m strong and most of the time I’m pretty vocal but there are times when I get quiet and this was one of them. I couldn’t understand the sudden shift in his behavior and couldn’t read if I was being too sensitive. I later find out I definitely was not.

Neil then proceeded to fall asleep on the couch and I sat watching the comedy special, it wasn’t bad but it wasn’t good. It was like the concentrate juice substitute… meh. I let Neil sleep for a minute and then told him I was getting an Uber and going to go home. He had driven me to his house so I wasn’t able to drive.

He insisted on driving me home to save me money and to properly end the date. He was pretty deep asleep but I accepted his offer… He got up groggily, grabbed his keys, put on his shoes and proceeded to his car. It wasn’t until the first turn that I knew I made a BIG mistake!

Last part will be tomorrow… I PROMISE!

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