My Own Christmas Carol

My favorite gift ever was a Barbie house my dad gave to my sister and I when I was in 3rd grade. Living in a single parent household, money was a scarcity. My dad worked in a warehouse clocking overtime hours each week. So when my sister and I saw this gigantic house beside the Christmas tree the excitement was palpable.

This Barbie house wasn’t made from Mattel or even a Barbie knock off from Odd Lots. Instead it was homemade from cardboard boxes. My dad had taped the boxes together and had covered the inside of with contact sheets, construction paper and carpet samples. It was complete with Styrofoam sink and bathtub. He even reinforced the bottom to allow for a large carport for our pink Barbie convertible. Each room and detail was carefully planned and built from a man that had never had a Barbie in his whole life. It was the epitome of love in craft.

I have strived now as a mama to give my child a Barbie house moment. I’m beyond blessed with mine and my kid’s needs and wants so creating these moments have been tougher. However this spirit of my past carries me each Christmas to show even more love and be more thoughtful.

Last Monday was my sister’s birthday! We had planned to go out to eat and celebrate. It turned out to be an exhausting day for our families, so the energy to fight with dinner crowds and children was not going to happen. After SEVERAL detours and rerouting plans (that I won’t bore you with) we all ended up in Target. Me in a very relaxed outfit perfect for holding babies and getting shopping snuggles in. After holding little hands and picking our “perfect pajamas” we went to go check out.

Standing in line chatting with my niece, I hear my sister cheerfully say “Oh look it’s Jack!”

Then without even time to think or process I look up and there he is… Right in front of me. It was truly as if time had stopped. My jaw dropped and I had enough thought to raise my hand in a half hi motion. He was walking by very quickly and talking on the phone in his “lecture tone” he reserves for work or rarely a family member. I’ve heard it before.

He seemed just as shocked to see me as I was him. He looked at me, did half a smile and was gone. I stood there for a while and then looked at my sister and we laughed. I would love to say that I knew immediately I was over him or even still in love with him…I was just confused.

I am still processing everything that happened that night and how I was not supposed to be there at all. Yet there I was and there he was. Fate had stepped in and I was staring face to face at the ghost of my present.

I came across an article from Oprah.com titled “Have you Created your Magic List Yet?” It is about writing down 100 qualities and or attributes of your dream man. I have been really reflecting on my past relationships and what specific qualities I would choose. Of course you have the ones that are obvious (loyal, communication, family guy) but that may get you to 20.

I was at an after work happy hour talking with my coworkers / friends and after some lively conversation I wrote down the below on my Note:

I know this one seems simple and yet oddly specific. I thought of this during the conversation as we were specifically discussing Christmas shopping. I think if a man loves Christmas sweaters he may be a little over enthusiastic for me. But if he doesn’t love it but will go along with it because he wants to make me happy… That is the perfect dynamic!

This is the only one I’ve written down. However, my plan is to finish this list by the first of the year then continue to modify it throughout 2018. I don’t really believe this is a magic list. I do believe in the aligning and figuring out what I want and then making decisions to attract that person. By focusing on that goal I am helping to determine the spirit of my future…husband that is 😍

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