Turning the Page…

So the last week has been a slow realization… Bear with me while I walk you though where I am at in my process.

So my last blog I mentioned the inspiring speaker that I had listened to the night before. It was Jon Gordon the author of The Energy Bus and a lot of other positive books.

It was a last minute gift from one of my dear friends. She had missed a connecting flight and here I was. Great seats and twitterapted for inspiration.

Jon told of great anecdotes, chill moments and ah ha pings. However the one thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was when he said (something like):

We spend a lot of time listening to what our mind is thinking. However, we should spend more time telling our mind what to think.

So it hit me hard. I hadn’t thought about what practical application I would be able up use such a mind F… But I knew it was big! At least my arm hairs told me it was.

Then that next day I wrote my blog. Let me tell you all now…I HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR!

I have several people I love… who don’t know eachother and they all agree on one thing… I need to move on and now. It was such a moment of reconsideration. So I realized… Ah ha I need to TELL my mind what to think. Practical application to an inspirational thought.

This may get a little hokey for some of you but I’ve always laid it on the line. (feel free to move down a paragraph or two).

I was thinking about Jack and how everytime I thought of him I’d get a little smile and a little sadness. I thought about him like a book. I had a whole story in there… A beginning, a middle, and an end. I could literally imagine the book of Jack in my hands. It lit up and I felt all the emotions I do when I think of him. Then I imagined I was closing the book. I legit saw lights of love and gratitude explode on the cover. Then I put it away on a shelf.

It was then that I realized I have other pain and “books” I needed to put away as well. I repeated the thought with other lessons in love.

I had done the thinking, learned the lessons and needed to move on. I was becoming comfortable in the stall of my love life.

Then over the last few days I had another ah ha moment. The remaining guys I have on my radar also don’t match what I need right now. I need to start over. Truly a clean slate.

I have always heard that in order to end a bad habit (focusing on guys that aren’t into me) I should focus on a new habit.

So I replaced the focu on what I DO want in a man. I had told you before that I was going to write 100 things I’m looking for in a future husband.

So here are the first couple of thoughts. These are not the most important ones just the first 5, there are 95 more where I can hit some one the other bigger and sillier ones. Also they are not all deal breakers… More like guidelines 😉

1. Must Love Dogs

I have three dogs. Yes three dogs. I spent a lot of time being worried about this and the idea of a being labeled a “crazy dog” lady or having too much baggage. However, I’ve grown to realize each dog comes with its own personality and place in my family.

2. Must Enjoy his Job

(or being doing something to change it)

I LOVE my job! I love the people I work with and the work I do. I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I have chosen where I work. I would challenge most people that they also make that choice.

Enjoying what I do adds a level of fun (and of course sometimes stress) to my day. I want someone that makes some fun in their everyday as well.

3. Must Not be Easily Embarrassed

I try to make fun in almost everything I do. This includes sometimes dancing while I’m walking. Doing silly voices. Making a comment to make someone laugh.

My daughter today said, “Mom you always make at least one person laugh wherever you go.” This made me smile and proud. She’s not afraid of the awkward moment.

4. Must be Heading to Hell for their Sense of Humor

I’ll need a partner down there for coal shoveling and other tasks.

5. Must Understand My Anxiety

(or be open to learn)

When I ask for confirmation for the thirtieth time it is not because I didn’t hear you.

When I say I’m having a panic moment, just listen and take control if needed.

When I’ve thought about something all night and ask 100 questions… just explain what you were thinking honestly. Don’t panic, tell me I’m over thinking, or skirt your answer. I always prefer knowing what I’m working with so be honest.


  1. OMg, Jill – wow! That “closing the book” thin is a powerful concept, which I am going to try, next time I’m stuck in an emotion. Very cool! Aside from that, I love your 100 Things list idea, too. I did something similar – I have an RFQ (Request for Qualifications) posted on my blog homepage – basically a questionnaire for guys who want to date me. Zero have answered so far, but that’s beside the point. It’s so important to know what your parameters are, so you don’t sell yourself short. Bravo for doing that, girl! (When do we get to learn the next 5 on your list?) Hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! I will have to check out your RFQ! I love that idea! It is fun and cheeky! I’m thinking this could be a weekly thing with a dating update as well. Just started really swiping and putting my intention there. So more to come!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Excellent! (I’m not brave enough to go whole-hog into the dating scene – just dipping my toes in was enough for the moment. But summer is coming, so who knows…? 🙂 )

        Liked by 2 people

  2. This was a genius idea about putting past loves into a book and putting them on a bookshelf. Closing a book while opening your heart for another chance. . . ❤️
    I like to write pros and cons when I am starting and ending a relationship. If there is at least one more con than pro, then I try to focus on, “Will this change or stay at the same negative level?”
    I have written a newer short list since as I get older I realize each person may bring new interesting activities. Ones you haven’t even considered!
    We may not wish to limit our choices. One of my favorite guys in my whole life only had two things in common with me: I love boating and used to fish with my Dad.
    We added hiking while we dated. We came up with a wide (wild) bunch of things we enjoyed, including going to horse races, museums and music concerts. 😀 🤗
    Plus I learned how to fish in the lakes, rivers, off a pier and on a fishing boat. 🎣🎏 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am not the best at the pros and cons when I go in. I’m a fly by the seat of my chemistry pants! Although I do quite a bit of analyzing throughout.
      I agree on the list idea. It is more for fun and to put into the world my ideas. Less about a hard checklist. Although some of them really are non negotiable. If the guy hates dogs or his job, I wouldn’t want that negativity 😉😁 take care & love the recent zoo pics!


      • Jill, there are no rights nor wrongs in our own lists. Just was sharing my perspective going into eHarmony
        this year versus my hard and fast list for Match.com about five years ago. ❤️
        Thanks for liking the zoo pics! 🌞

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is wonderful! I wish you the best of luck in finding what you’re looking for. I’m in the process of “working with a clean slate” in order to find what I’m looking for too

    Liked by 1 person

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