I (like many others) am constantly thinking about how I can improve myself and push past my limits. This is especially true in the dating world where I am constantly being confronted with uncomfortable moments. As I mentioned before, I am very awkward when meeting a guy for the first time. So when I learned about events from one of the dating sites I subscribe to I decided this may be a chance for me to get out there! For my avid readers, I have done a dating event before… but used a crutch and went with a guy. This time I was going to go by myself.
I found the perfect dating event. It was a brewery tour with a beer tasting about an hour away. I thought it would be a wonderful chance for me to learn to make small talk and not go to the “friend zone” immediately. I signed up and posted it on Facebook so mentally I was less likely to back out!
The day of the event came. It was a Sunday which was perfect because I had plenty of time to get ready… or so I thought. A little “Jill insight”- Once Fall hits, my life is all about watching football and especially the Browns. The event was on same day as the first game of the season… equivalent to your first day of school as a child (for those people not sports fans). I went to a local sports bar and watched the beginning of the game. I had planned on leaving at the half which would give me an hour… instead I left with about 30 minutes to get ready. The game was really good and I couldn’t get myself to leave in time 😉
So it was time to get ready for my actual dating adventure. I knew what I was going to wear and based on time decided to straighten my hair. I have found out after dating so much how to get ready in record time so it worked out well. I was going to actually put myself out there and try to look as cute as possible (for me)! I figured it would help me stay confident… or at least look like it.
So I get ready… take a few selfies.. and drive! I listen to my music loudly and sing along to all my favorite jams.. (actual song that played that I busted out)
That’s why it’s hard for me to find
Can’t get it outta my head
Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you’re dead
Never trust a big butt and smile
That girl is poison poison
So about 5 minutes later, I notice that the number of guys FAR outweigh the women. There are literally 4 women there and about 15 guys. I’m sure each of you are thinking… “Whoa! Good odds!” Instead I’m thinking “Holy Smokes! I am going to have to talk to more people!” The room is really awkward with 0 people talking and I can tell 0 people are interested in me.
About 10 minutes later, the bartender says “Yeah if you guys are here for the event there are name tags and questions upstairs”
“Oh! The party is upstairs! Duh Jill!”I thought. So I grab my beer and head up the three stairs… So yeah… a picnic table with a sign in sheet and name tags. One other guy. No talking. The highlight of the upstairs was the Nintendo 64.
A group of us begin to ask the questions to get the “event” started. We have a circle going and while the ages of the people vary greatly we are having fun. It was clear that this was not going to be where I meet my soulmate but I will ensure that I enjoy myself.
I decide to invite some of the quieter guys upstairs to join in the conversation. I am no longer nervous because the lack of organization is outstanding and that kills me as someone who leads quite a few meetings. Downstairs there are all guys and a female bartender who is certainly enjoying the attention of a few of the guys. The problem was there were quite a few guys sitting downstairs at the table not talking to anyone.
So I yell down to the group “Hey guys… If you want to come upstairs we’re doing the ice breaker activity to get to know each other!” All the guys look over and then the most awkward thing happens… really awkward…
The female bartender yells over the crowd (not hard quiet as a mouse in there) “Yeah… umm that’s what we’re doing. Getting to know each other. This is a lot more relaxed environment than that.”
My face as I said “Yeah no problem… just trying to look out”
So the quiet guys stay downstairs by themselves and we continue to chat. I answer my favorite band, movie and vacation spot. All of these are for a lot different answers and do not match the demographic of the audience. Finally, the bartender and a guy come up the stairs and ask if we want a tour. Awesome! Now is the time to start!
A guy brings us into their brewery room. It’s a large room at least three times the size of the bar area. The room is filled with barrels, silver containers (I don’t know the name of those) and other larger silver containers for mixing. Feel free to look up how to make beer on Google. So the guy with the bartender gives us a very thorough but definitely tipsy version of how to make beer. It’s actually a great lesson… until…
Someone asks him a question about the beer at the brewery that we were visiting. He then answered “I don’t know… I don’t work here” then looks at the bartender who can answer the question. I laughed out loud. Makes sense that’s also a hot mess given the experience so far.
After the tour I go downstairs and make friendly small talk with some of the quieter guys. I don’t want anyone leaving without having spoken to someone. I talked about comic books, movies I’ve never seen, and football for a short time.
There was a cute guy that came and talked to me for a bit but I just felt so awkward and out of sorts there that I just wanted to leave. I feel kind of bad because I definitely went to the “friend zone” that I’m known for when I feel uncomfortable. He was a cute guy but I guess not for me since it didn’t go anywhere. I did give them all lessons on which apps to use to find the best ladies!
The cute guy did tell me about another dating event not put on by the website that I attended last week. I had much better luck there! Can’t wait to tell you all about it 🙂
Oh wow! I’ve thought about maybe attending the events Match puts on, but I’ll stick to the Meetup stuff, if they’re that disorganized – ugh! (If I ever decide to start dating again, that is. Still on a break with that. 😉 ) Can’t wait to read your next post! 🙂