No new dates yet but I am talking to a few guys. Plus I’m not giving up on Aaron* just yet! We had an unexpected encounter after our first date. I ran into him at a bar and in good intentions I paraded him around to all my improv friends.I kept saying “Look how hot he is!”
He was really easy going, funny, and played along. He even introduced himself as “Aaron” yes his fake name from the blog… of course I laughed. Also it was a huge plus that he read my blog! Seriously thoughtful!
The truth is the more I know about him the more I’ll give it a moment to pan out. I lead with the looks but I’m finding out that is just the icing.
I realized I owe some more of the traits I’m looking for in a guy! It has been a while and I’ve gotten a lot of feedback about these so far.
Again, I always make the disclaimer this is not an absolute list or a Must Have but just a fun guide. If someone hits the biggies and the chemistry is right… I’m in.
To make it interesting I’m going to use some of my previous blogs as inspiration:
11. Be a Good Friend
There are a hundred things that I could say I appreciate about my first husband (only husband to be clear I just hope for another someday). We were married for almost 12 years and that was an active choice. But one of the things I admire most about him is his ability to keep friends. He has a lot of friends and showed me the old cliche to have a good friend you need to be a good friend. He always put in effort and took time to help when needed. He went out of his way countless times to help.
When a man can keep friends it shows that he understands longstanding effort. Plus when you have good friends you will never have to move by yourself.
Okay the obvious one from this one is…
12. Has a Good Voice
This is definitely a plus. It doesn’t have to be anything special just not really high. However, something I liked about Josh* was..
13. Likes to Go to Zoos / Museums
Josh would talk about how he really enjoyed going to family places. I sometimes get more excited than any children I am with when I travel to these. I ask to go the zoo or museums for my Mothers Day or Birthday! I love getting to pick the places we hit up first and sharing learning moments with my family!
When I was in third grade my dad gave me a camera for our zoo field trip. I remember walking to school that morning in my multi colored windbreaker and my fanny pack. My fanny pack was filled with money I couldn’t lose and my special camera. I pretty much skipped that morning and my fanny pack hit against my belt! It was going to be a good day!
I was so proud to give my dad back his camera and wait for the pictures to develop. This was long before 24 hour turn around.
My dad got so mad when we got them back. The pictures were full of rhino butts (my fave animal at the time) and a boy I had a crush on. It was an entire waste of film.
The below picture is one I took on Friday, much better than the rhino butts. 😂
14. Loves to Sing
This of course was the blog I could have gotten murdered…but just a reminder I didn’t. I’m still here!
On one of my first phone conversations with Dave* we played a Name that Tune Disney version. Again, I’m not looking for a man that loves Disney. But that night we had a great time!
I would love to have a car singing duet or even better a karaoke partner! We don’t need to be able to sing some Whitney song but a person that will just have fun while carrying a tune would be amazing. Who knows Ice Ice Baby?!
Maybe as a bonus someone that also doesn’t lead me down a darkened road to my death could be number 15? Yep that’s 15!
15. Doesn’t Make Me Fear For My Life
16. Is Thoughtful in What He Writes
The first few messages can really make or break a conversation or a future of conversations. A message where a man can ask a decent question, make me laugh, or reply to my message with a thoughtful answer and follow up question is perfect. I feel that sometimes basic communication is rare in online dating.
I don’t want or need a summary of every point of my profile. I actually find long paragraphs to be intimidating. I must then write back on every point. I end up putting the answer off until I “have time”. I then apologize for being so delayed in my reply.
I should know something about who a guy is and/or what he’s looking for within a few messages. Something worth keeping the conversation going. If I don’t then maybe I need to keep searching.